A Very Sad Day

Some of you may think that this is inappropriate.  How ever we were a product of the 50's and this is the truth.  Back then no one heard the cries of a child when things were not the way they were suppose to be.

Today my husband lost his older brother.  He was not older by much. 17 months. They were born to a mother that was 15 and 16 years old married off to an older man. A man that was angry, and had no formal up bringing. Drank and could not read.  He did work hard but was a very selfish man and only cared for he wants, and needs, while others suffered.

This is the letter that my husband wrote to his nephew and sister in law

WARNING THIS MAY CAUSE HEART TROUBLE.

Dear Matt and family:

I wanted you to know how Paul and I grew up and how it shaped his life. I remember as a little boy my big brother was tall and very skinny. WE were close as any brothers could be. 

I remember that our dad was very strict with us, mostly us boys. Our dad would beat us if we did something he didn't like and I mean beat with his fist or a belt, but your dad would always get it worst. Some times I would have to stand between your dad and my dad so, (I feared that my dad would kill your dad), to stop my dad from beating your dad to death. We would have black and blue marks all over our bodies and have a blooded mouth to boot from him hitting us in our mouth. To say my dad was mean is an under statement he was very cruel. 

I remember we were so poor that we didn't have a lot of food to eat and when we did have food on the table my dad would get mad for what ever reason and turn the table over with the little food we had on it, was now uneatable and we were sent by him to bed hungry. To say that we didn't have it easy growing up is true.

I remember that when our room was, (as little kids do), a mess he would come in and throw all of our toys (what little we had), out the up stairs window and our clothes too and then we had to, after a beating, go outside to clean up the mess that he made and throw everything in the garbage. We were crying not only from the beating but also the loss of our toys and clothes. He made sure that no one would take anything back out. Then would have us take the cans to the curb on trash day. So now all of our stuff would be gone for ever.

I remember as little boys we would hold each other in the one bed your dad and I shared crying why our dad was so mean and we we'er hurting from the beating and we were so hungry too. We were never to touch the milk or any other food that was for him, growing up or we of course be in trouble with him and get another beating but we were hungry. 

As we got older I remember that your dad would take on the blame for us younger kids and take the beating so we didn't get it. It happened all the time and it was over nothing, our dad would get mad about something at work or what our mom said or if we,as he would put sass back to him.

He went to school and he would get into fights all the time, I think he was getting out his anger against my dad out at school. Of course he would get a beating from dad when he got home from work because the school would call our mom and then she would tell our dad. It went on like this until he was kick out of just about every school around us. Then some jackass said that your dad needed medicine to calm him down, well he was like a zombie from then on, and then they decided that he needed to be in Special school because of the drugs that he was on because it caused him not to learn like the other kids. Oh that help Paul really, well (not). So my big brother not was only on a drug that caused him to be a zombie, but he went to, (and I quote your dad, a retarded school), I might as well act like them too. It was so hard to see my big brother in that state. 

Your dad was very good at repairing things him and I would tear thing down just to see how they worked. We would then put it back together again of course we have some screws left over at the very end, but as time went on and we got better and not having screws or parts left over. And he would fix all of the kids bikes in the neighborhood. All the kids knew he would fix their bikes for them. As he grew up he started to fix other things, he would help anyone who needed help, talk about learning from life, thats what he did.

I love your dad very much, I know we didn't keep up with one another as we would like to have had. But we sort of knew. He will be missed.

I know that your dad took so good care of his mom and dad as they needed. He was always there for them. Our dad, I think never appreciated your dad and what he always did and never ask for anything in return that he did for them. But I know and God knows what a very good man your dad was, and how he always help others, even when he had nothing.

I will miss my brother very much. he was my big brother. I loved him for all he has taught me and how he protected me when we were little guys.

I will miss my big brother forever.

Love from your younger brother Eddie