A Very Sad Day

Some of you may think that this is inappropriate.  How ever we were a product of the 50's and this is the truth.  Back then no one heard the cries of a child when things were not the way they were suppose to be.

Today my husband lost his older brother.  He was not older by much. 17 months. They were born to a mother that was 15 and 16 years old married off to an older man. A man that was angry, and had no formal up bringing. Drank and could not read.  He did work hard but was a very selfish man and only cared for he wants, and needs, while others suffered.

This is the letter that my husband wrote to his nephew and sister in law

WARNING THIS MAY CAUSE HEART TROUBLE.

Dear Matt and family:

I wanted you to know how Paul and I grew up and how it shaped his life. I remember as a little boy my big brother was tall and very skinny. WE were close as any brothers could be. 

I remember that our dad was very strict with us, mostly us boys. Our dad would beat us if we did something he didn't like and I mean beat with his fist or a belt, but your dad would always get it worst. Some times I would have to stand between your dad and my dad so, (I feared that my dad would kill your dad), to stop my dad from beating your dad to death. We would have black and blue marks all over our bodies and have a blooded mouth to boot from him hitting us in our mouth. To say my dad was mean is an under statement he was very cruel. 

I remember we were so poor that we didn't have a lot of food to eat and when we did have food on the table my dad would get mad for what ever reason and turn the table over with the little food we had on it, was now uneatable and we were sent by him to bed hungry. To say that we didn't have it easy growing up is true.

I remember that when our room was, (as little kids do), a mess he would come in and throw all of our toys (what little we had), out the up stairs window and our clothes too and then we had to, after a beating, go outside to clean up the mess that he made and throw everything in the garbage. We were crying not only from the beating but also the loss of our toys and clothes. He made sure that no one would take anything back out. Then would have us take the cans to the curb on trash day. So now all of our stuff would be gone for ever.

I remember as little boys we would hold each other in the one bed your dad and I shared crying why our dad was so mean and we we'er hurting from the beating and we were so hungry too. We were never to touch the milk or any other food that was for him, growing up or we of course be in trouble with him and get another beating but we were hungry. 

As we got older I remember that your dad would take on the blame for us younger kids and take the beating so we didn't get it. It happened all the time and it was over nothing, our dad would get mad about something at work or what our mom said or if we,as he would put sass back to him.

He went to school and he would get into fights all the time, I think he was getting out his anger against my dad out at school. Of course he would get a beating from dad when he got home from work because the school would call our mom and then she would tell our dad. It went on like this until he was kick out of just about every school around us. Then some jackass said that your dad needed medicine to calm him down, well he was like a zombie from then on, and then they decided that he needed to be in Special school because of the drugs that he was on because it caused him not to learn like the other kids. Oh that help Paul really, well (not). So my big brother not was only on a drug that caused him to be a zombie, but he went to, (and I quote your dad, a retarded school), I might as well act like them too. It was so hard to see my big brother in that state. 

Your dad was very good at repairing things him and I would tear thing down just to see how they worked. We would then put it back together again of course we have some screws left over at the very end, but as time went on and we got better and not having screws or parts left over. And he would fix all of the kids bikes in the neighborhood. All the kids knew he would fix their bikes for them. As he grew up he started to fix other things, he would help anyone who needed help, talk about learning from life, thats what he did.

I love your dad very much, I know we didn't keep up with one another as we would like to have had. But we sort of knew. He will be missed.

I know that your dad took so good care of his mom and dad as they needed. He was always there for them. Our dad, I think never appreciated your dad and what he always did and never ask for anything in return that he did for them. But I know and God knows what a very good man your dad was, and how he always help others, even when he had nothing.

I will miss my brother very much. he was my big brother. I loved him for all he has taught me and how he protected me when we were little guys.

I will miss my big brother forever.

Love from your younger brother Eddie

Just One Look

Just one Look
For my swap partner "Needful Things"

House Hunting

I hate house hunting.  We have to move because our lease option owner failed to do major repairs.
Yes MaJoR repairs.  We had a water pipe break and flood the 3rd level of the house. This is a storage area laundry room, family room, daughters room. all the flooring had to be ripped out. The water mark was 4 ft up the wall. They brought in industrial fans to dry every thing. The carpet laid in the house 7 days before they were allowed to remove it.  We lost countless irreplaceable books, antiques, washing 35 blankets. OK not only do I have a Fabric problem, I also have a Blanket problem too.  I have furniture and books and leather purses are just a few of the things along with my sisters trailer full of stuff.All under the carport. So since it has not been taken care of and our stuff needs a home.  We are house hunting.  Just packing my sewing room is overwhelming.  I am getting to old for this.  I just want simple clean and enough room.
Patience is a Virtue that I still need to learn.

Clap, Clap,Clap-Clap-Clap DOG SHOW !!

This is our Standard POODLE  JACE.  He sat and watched the Westminster Dog Show For 45 min tonight.  He is a Royal 31 inches at the wethers and 84 pounds. He is a white and chocolate Parti.  Or in horse terms "Ovaro".  He is a gentle giant. A big Teddy Bear.  First he stood the he sat and next he lay down on the floor.  He jumped up on the bed and continued to watch.  Love that BIG GUY

SNICKETT #2

 I love my life (sarcasm here).  
3 weeks ago we had a pipe break in our storage room. By the time we found it we had 5 inches of water in my daughters room and the family room.   Now the clincher is Our house is a Lease Option.  We were getting the loan ready.  The woman that owns the house is dragging her feet.  We did all the leg work and had insurance to cover our personal belongings. She has to take care of the structure problems.  She has a nice brand new home 3 blocks way.  Don't get me wrong we had a nice house too.  My family room carpet is ruined had to be removed it smells like mold down there, all my furniture and my daughters bed room are on my sisters trailer. (All that would fit) the rest is on the carport. The things we lost were personal. My daughters baby pictures. things that my grand parents brought from Germany.  Antiques, Books beloved books some we can not replace. My Shirley Temple Doll 36 inches tall box and curl's. Rug my son sent to his sister from Iraq, hand carved boxes he brought from Bosnia. That is just a few of the things.
So now my daughter is sleeping in the Main Living Room, All her cloths are in the sewing room. We are all using the same bathroom.   So we have decided and the law allows it to go.  She has drug her feet long enough and I am done. I am the one that has to sit here and look at stuff piled
every where.   So we have decided  just to rent for now and maybe build a house when we are recovered from all of the me-hem.
As My sweet little Mema always said # What the Lord give you is for your growth. Get up your still breathing.  she also said regularly.  "I am sick and tired of being sick and tired"
Can't wait for the Swap already making things for my partner.  yarnigras.blogspot.com  VISIT

MY NEEDFUL THINGS

I need to keep my family's  German Heritage alive.  The customs that my siblings and I grew up with need to be carried on thru our posterity.  

I need all things Poodle.  When I was a little girl, the next door neighbor had a beautiful Standard Poodle.  I would sit on my back porch and watch that poodle gracefully prance in the yard. If it was cold weather I would watch out the window until they let him out, then I would sneak out side with my  blankie and watch him he would come to the fence and lick my tiny fingers.  I wanted to be a Standard Poodle because of the grace. I could not become a poodle so I settled for owning them and sharing their grace.

I need my grandchildren 2 girls and 3 boys. Each so very different and unique. I need their hugs and smiles to help get me through the day. I need the humor that they provide, ideas,and stories.
I love to see the things they do like their daddy did when he was a boy.

I need sewing needles that are easy to thread because I am loosing my sight. So much of time while sewing is spent trying to thread needles.

I need my religion in my life.  I am a member of the Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter Day Saints.
I believe in Christ. I need to pray and prayer gives me peace.

I need my daughter and daughter in law. They are my rocks.  When I an down they always pick me up.

I need fabric it makes me feel good. Sometimes I just sit in my sewing room and look at the yards and yards of GLORIOUS fabric.  If they made a candle that smelled like new fabric I would buy them all.

I need my sisters in my life. If I have trouble cutting a pattern out one of them will always do it for me.  If I go to a quilting class my sister will do the block for me because I have trouble seeing it.  I need them because I love them.

I need to go to my happiest place on earth at least once a week. For me the happiest place on earth is the DI a chain of thrift stores here in Utah and a few other western states.  I find fabulous  things there.

I need pink, It helps me feel light and happy.

I need sparkles, They help me feel bright.

I need my best fuzzy friends, they love me unconditionally and never talk back.

I need sand paper and spray paint because I love to make something out of something else.

I need my sweet husband, he has been my best friend for 41 years. He takes care of me and works hard every day. He has made my dreams come true.

I need books and magazines I have been a reader all my life.  I have to read on my Ipad now or listen to my Kindle.  I feel very blessed to have these thing available.  I still feel the need to have reading material in my hands.

I need Duck Dynasty.  I love their family connection.  It reminds me of our family.  (we do not eat squirrel or game of any kind.)

I need Vintage be cause I love it.

I need hugs from my 2 boys. They always say I love you.

I need Swaps. It keeps me creative and helps making friends on the Internet.

I need to make people happy.  I like to buy little things that I know people will like.